- 15 February, 2025
In a world where the concept of love is often distorted, Jason Evert has dedicated his life to promoting chastity and authentic love. As the founder of the Chastity Project, Jason along with his wife, Crystalina, has reached millions of people, guiding them toward relationships built on respect and self-giving love.
In this special Valentine’s Day interview with Catholic Connect, Jason shares insights on healing from fornication, its spiritual and medical consequences, and how to cultivate the virtue of chastity.
Excerpts
What are the spiritual and medical consequences of fornication?
Spiritually, mortal sins like fornication take away the life of God from our souls. And so it jeopardises our relationship with God not only in this life but also in the life to come. Obviously, venial sins are not as grave as mortal sins, but we shouldn't have an attitude that says, "If it's a mortal sin, I don't want to do it, but if it's a venial sin, I don't want to miss it." We should strive to be pure in our hearts so that we can be free to love and free to see God.
In terms of the physical consequences of fornication, the more sexual partners a person has, the more likely they are to contract sexually transmitted illnesses; for example, you might contract cervical cancer if you're a woman. As a man, if you get married with human papillomavirus (HPV), your wife is five times more likely to get cervical cancer.
What steps should one take to heal after engaging in fornication?
Medically, get tested for STDs. Untreated infections can impact fertility and cause several other health issues. And don't listen to any medical professional who tells you, "Well, just use protection (contraception) next time!" I know of a man who used "protection" every time he had premarital sex, and he caused seven pregnancies.
Spiritually, after indulging in fornication, go to the sacrament of reconciliation to purify yourself and avail yourself of the Lord’s mercy. Make a good, sincere confession and hold nothing back. God wants to give you that gift of your baptismal innocence through confession, and all we need to do is receive it. I remember a priest once saying "God knows your sins but calls you by your name, while the devil knows your name but calls you by your sins." You are a beloved child of God, and it’s never too late to start over.
How can young men and women maintain chastity and resist temptations?
We cause 90% of our temptations by what we watch and who we associate with. So, surround yourself with friends who lift you up and have a positive influence on you.
When dating, make sure to choose a person who shares your values. You must choose someone who has their own conscience instead of expecting you to be in charge of their innocence. Both must be convinced of the importance of the virtue of chastity if they want to practice it.
Also, a saint once said that our five senses are like entry points to a fortress—if left unguarded, the enemy will take over. So, protect your eyes from vulgar content, your ears from misogynistic music and talk, and your mind from impure influences to maintain purity not just physically but also in your heart and imagination.
How can young couples maintain healthy boundaries while preparing for authentic love?
A man should not do anything with a woman that he wouldn’t do in front of her family. We need to be people of integrity, not living lives of duplicity where we're one person when certain people are watching us and then we become a totally different person when we're in the dark.
Also, Pope John Paul II once said that “a man is the keeper of a woman’s holiness.” In other words, a true man should have a sense of responsibility towards protecting a woman’s body and her soul. The greater the feeling of responsibility you have for your beloved, the more real love there is.
What message would you give young men this Valentine’s Day to avoid lust and fornication?
Lust never truly satisfies. If what we want is simply sexual pleasure and to use another human being, it's not who we are. You are made in God’s image. God is love, and real love is about self-giving, not using others. And so what chastity does is it frees you to live authentically.
If a man cannot resist his sexual impulses, then when he says yes to them, it basically means nothing. He has to have self-control if he wants to make a gift for himself. If he does not possess himself, he can't make a gift of himself, and a woman's heart can tell the difference.
For more information related to Jason Evert and his Chastity Project, visit:
Website: www.chastity.com
Facebook: @JasonandCrystalinaEvert
Instagram: @jasonevert
By Steve Antao
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